How to make hours disappear……

Never listen to an elderly academic when he says: I know I put the pipe down here..but the yard keeps flooding so I need to find the pipe it must be blocked”

Given that the man in question is 84 we decided to help our a heart attack was imminent.

This is where our weekend went: “The drainage pipe that I am looking for is to the right of that water meter”


Sounds simple. But it wasn’t.


By Sunday evening we had located three different pipes and some were leading to the back garden. We were exhausted aching but a discovery had been made. Academics should never, ever do anything practical around the house. Or you end up with this:










Battleground. – Flash Fiction.


When Jane bought the house it was derelict. The garden a tip. Ten years on and it was a house buyers dream. The garden, a fantasy of jeweled color and activity.

However, this morning it was quiet. Too quiet. She shivered. No cat on the windowsill, no birds flitting about and singing their hearts out.  As sun filled as any postcard and as quiet as one too.

“Somethings up,” she muttered. Her husband gathering his brief case looked over at her and smiled.

“Lost your keys again?”

“No, but I’ve lost all sound in the garden. Like God has turned the Stereo off.” She smiled at the absurdity of her words.

He planted a light kiss on her cheek and left for work. Jane trundled outside to check .

Then she saw him.  The fledgling Mocking-jay sat on the back of the garden seat. Time moved on but he didn’t. Seconds became one minute, then two. She tiptoed forward and followed his line of vision.

Her heart wobbled, her body swayed. There on the old grey stone wall sat a line of crows.

Run for the garden rake to get between predators and the terrified bird or? She glanced back at the mocking-jay and for the first time noticed his expression.

He wasn’t terrified he was arrogantly daring them to attack. She wondered why.  The tiny rustle behind her alerted Jane. A glance over her shoulder revealed an army of mocking-jay birds.

Jane didn’t stop to think, she ran for cover….

Flash fiction piece inspired by photo on:

Bob’s Diary

I have a story to tell:

bob in dark

It involves our crazy collie and Kevin. I told her not to trust him. She left him minding her stuff, went off to  play.  She said she would only be a minute.

el playing 3

ellie playing 1ellie playing 4

A few hours later she reappeared looking like this:

Ellie looking at camera

Seems Kevin did a runner with her stuff. I said, “you’re a search dog go do your stuff!”

ellie at tunnel 1

She did but it took some time and negotiating, to achieve

kevin found

a happy ending.


Bob’s Diary


Sub Contracting

Three hours and two jelly babies later – I almost quit my job of minding Ellie’s stuff. Then I remembered:


kevin 1

He’s perfect. Loves a challenge, is unemployed and is an awesome fire filled friend.

kevin 2

And to make it even sweeter, he needs no payment,

kevin in hiding





Better still she trusts him.

ellie and kevin

 (And she thinks I’m dumb!)