Scrumptious Witch. My side of the tale.
When those three moaning, tiresome knights, kept knocking on my door asking for favors I could not give, I became a little sick and tired of them.
After all when a pretty, blonde and intelligent witch is trying to snag a Prince Charming having three dolts hanging around her hut is not exactly saying “come and get me” to every available prince, is it?
They were following me or so it seemed. Everywhere I looked there they were. Even when I nipped out late one evening to find come beetle juice there they were: one hopping on his armor the other moaning about being beaten and the third stemming the flow of blood from another self-inflicted injury during a jousting match.
I pretended to brush my hair while sitting not to far away and listened to them. It was apparent they were useless. They would always be moaning and groaning. Something drastic had to be done. If I was to push them onto another witch I would need help or a really sneaky spell.
I decided if I solved their problems, I would be rid of them but that might make me famous. And then I would have every ruddy knight on the planet camped outside my door.
If the path to a hut containing treasure (me) is blocked by a mountain of knights it would not be enticing to a handsome Prince.
My solution was simple. It happened in a moment of blinding revelation. I needed to stash them somewhere safe. And in return for their removal I would give them each a gift.
This last bit took some time. Gifts are not something to be bandied about, and this is what I came up with:
Lazy whose armor was always the grottiest would be transformed into an ultra clean cleaner, seeing dirt where no one else could.
Grouchy’s temper would vanish. His anti social side would morph into a person who loves to entertain.
Sleazy lack of interest in everything would turn around. He would become a person needing an answer.
So the spell was cast. I took my time and put them in a deep sleep, they would only be awakened when the world was in need of knights big and small once again.
Unfortunately for me while I was doing the spell that big-headed oaf, Always-Right-Knight stumbled upon me in full moon light dance and chant mode. He wished to join me so he too joined their party. But I was cautious. I removed him a distance from the others and decided not to meddle with an already arrogant overbearing idiot.
In my defense we were in need of three good solid supports for the bridge and guess who found them?
Hopefully the future world will be an amazing place where knights will be true honest and happy.