Caring for a Dad and a Bob.

One question about sit and stay and ageing.

As carer to one 86 year old dad and one 98 years old Bob I have discovered they have one thing in common, they can move like Ninjas.

Ask Dad to wait for a second while you grab a coat for him and when you turn around he has not only calmly gone outside but left his Zimmer behind him.

Tell Bob to sit and stay while you open the gate to bring in the bin and bam – he has calmly walked through it and is making his way to whatever house the delicious scent of cooking is wafting from.

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Trouble is – how can you give out to either of them? Besides they won’t listen!

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High and low..

The garden is full of promise. I look high for Apple blossoms. When I find loads I think a little like Mr Homer Simpson,

…hmmm apple tarts. Bob, he looks low on the ground and finds  …strawberries and I know he adores ice cream, so he thinks of them.

Everyone is different but food does feature a lot in our lives, don’t you agree?

A little white lie…

Before anyone panics Bob is doing well. We are delighted with his fighting attitude even though we always considered him to be a lover rather than a fighter. He is taking the tablets, taking as much exercise as he ever did..and continues to smile.

Though not in this picture as I mentioned the word ‘cat`and as you can see , he discovered it was a lie to get him to move.

#Dementia

This one word is putting fear into me. My dad has vascular dementia and we are learning how to deal with another curve ball that life is throwing at us. No one is left unaffected by this horrible condition.

It is odd how often we live in blind ignorance until we are thrust into a situation and then we learn we are only one small unit amongst thousands who are learning how to cope with this condition.

I did not inherit his great intelligence and it is this intelligence that we now see fading behind a mask of sorrow and fear that he is learning to deal with. Dad was never an emotional man, he was always the calm voice of reason. The solid base. Now, this base is quivering under the multitude of questions he and we face.

So I am turning to all readers to ask for tricks and tips on how to lighten his load. His apologies are becoming more frequent, as are some silly incidents, i.e.,

Open the fridge door to discover all of the dinner dishes stacked (unwashed on the shelves).Open the  hot stove / oven door to find items of clothing sitting on the shelf being baked.

 

The washing machine last week was lined in white plastic, which I resorted to hoovering, the flakes to remove them.

Our solutions include:

We have posted notices on doors etc listing the what to do when leaving the house.

There are notices appearing on microwaves, seats, notebooks, computers as we try to make things easier for him to cope.

Remove all evidence of bills paid, as he worries about money which he no longer understands.

Have a series of carers in the house at meal times and as often as we can, we arrive in ones to nudge and coax him into a sense of normality.

So, again I appeal to all who read or notice my strange rambling blog all pieces of advice big and small will be chewed on, thought over and acted upon.

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So why post a picture of a sunflower? To give us all something sunny to look forward to, especially as Bob is asleep, again.

Our favorite things, by Bob & Ellie

Some of this list will not be a surprise to many people.

Bob’s top 5 favourite things

  1. A soft cushion to lie on – important for aging creaking bones – even if I sometimes roll off it.mde
  2. A bone to crunch on – the crunching reminds our two legged friends that we are still here.
  3. Sunshine and kids, – Sunshine provides much needed heat and the kids provide much needed treats. (M has me on a diet again.)
  4. Dinner – I dream in food in particular, strawberries.wp-image-1108616780jpg.jpg
  5. A hug – who doesn’t like a hug?

Ellie’s top 5 favourite things,

1 . She doesn’t care what size or colour but specifies there should be plenty of tennis balls

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2   Play time –

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3. Working, particularly in wooded areas

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4.  Boat trips, they come in handy for collecting lost in the river tennis balls.

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5.  Bob!

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