Bob’s Diary: To cheer Maria up…

talking 1Yesterday was Mother’s day and though her two kids did an amazing job, cooking dinner and surprising her with some spectacular bird earrings. I know Maria still missed her own mum… so….

We decided to cheer her up by beginning our expedition plans to find that Ogre.

I’ve been watching Dora, and learnt a lot,

Looking for Dora the Explorer.

Looking for Dora the Explorer.

So I now know preparation is the key for finding a species, in this case an Ogre. We started by gathering together the following items:

stuff in barrow

1.  Food

 2. Fairy Cakes

3. In case of emergency phone

4. Binoculars

5. Food

6.  First aid kit and book.

7.  A silver star

8. –  We are still waiting on this one,  it is a map of the wood where he lives …until then we will  practice our drills…

talking 2

Ellie:  Hang on a moment, Bob. Why have we got a star?

Bob: all travellers know that if you are lost you can find your way by looking at stars, so we are bringing our own, just in case

ball on stick 1

Ellie: And a ball on a stick?

Bob: Its the old donkey thing, you know donkey being led by a carrot on a stick,

Ellie: No I don’t understand.

Bob: You are a collie/husky, you like balls, see I’ll show you..


Ellie: Nope sorry I don’t get it..

Bob: Don’t worry you’ll get the hang of it. We just have to pick the correct mode of transport to be pulled.

2nd veh

 Ellie: now that looks plain stupid.

Bob: which one?

3rd veh

vehicle 1


Ellie:  Hmm.. I don’t think you’ll get any donkey to pull any of those.

ellies final word


But I wouldn’t mind a drive in a Ferrari.

Bob’s Diary: Hunting him down

After our meeting I went back to the wood.pic one in wood

Ellie says it is not the right wood, but what does she know she rescues people she doesn’t hunt ogres.

I know that he is big and there has to be a clue around  there somewhere.

There is it is: at

Bob’s Diary: Rumor has it….

Bob: I’ve called a meeting because I’ve heard a rumour…

1st pic meeting

Ellie:  Seriously? What’s a meeting? What’s a rumor?

pay attentionBob: Just listen. We have a problem. The fact is I’m told the Ogre has a blog.

 Ellie: Good for him. He will be busy.

Bob: Exactly so we can find him and get a refill of fairy cakes.

meeting called

“Good luck with that one.”

Bob’s Diary: Who let him in?

Friday, I had a great dream and a pretty nifty sleep,

bob sleep

then I noticed

bobs discovery

Him.       Who let the bear in?

ellie and bear

 Ellie wasn’t impressed either.


circle the wagons

We decided to circle the wagons, tighten the defense line.

Above all protect… our dinners.

A prisoner beneath Tara of the High Kings

Macha, The Morrigu, a witch, a warrior of legends long past. She is a prisoner  in the valley beneath the shadow of the sacred mountain of Tara where High Kings flourished, fought and died.

Time means nothing to Macha. Years slip by her, as do the many who come out of curiosity to visit the ancient site at Tara. They wish to catch a glimpse of an ancient magical atmosphere to help them create a better vision of what had been.

Macha pays them no heed for mirroring their curious state will only wreck havoc with her energy levels. She knows what she is: an unseen shadow lurking behind the tiny hillock that Tara has become.

She delights in her dreams, filled of greatness, people and feats. She longs to hear the battle cries, the demented wailing of those mourning. To smell the air after battle, acrid and heavy with the stench of death.  A time like no other, she chortles.

The present holds no meaning for her unless she is handed the key to her freedom. Thinking of this her much sought,  promised freedom brings far too great a pain for her. She knows it will happen, but when? The words roll around her mind.

She drifts for a second or is it centuries? Here time has lost all meaning to her. Despite her intentions, entombed in this non-existent world of hers a tiny hope flares. If only he would come, she muses on that ecstatic moment when her freedom will erupt like a fountain eager to catch its first glimpse of all above the crust of the earth.

This freedom, which this ancient druidess craves holds so much promise and here she stops her dreaming, freedom is beyond her comprehension after so many years of captivity.

This state of captivity irritates her. These binding unseen chains of magic which keeps her trapped in the depths of the earth.  Here there is darkness but not solitude for the earth spinning on its axis is like a tired old machine and deep within its mechanical depths it grinds and groans in an ever ending interlinked spiral made of hope and despair.

Since her birth Macha was enchanted by stories. Tales of human accomplishments and disasters are her favourite, languages are another and she longs to hear her native tongue spoken again.  When I was young…. The words only remind her of her useless state and she resorts to humour. Oh’ how fickle we are when youth holds us in its enthusiastic grasp, she chortles. Tired now from all the, what iffing she succumbs to the mind numbing darkness muttering her mantra, “I will be ready for you when you set foot on Tara, I will know.”

Bob’s Diary: New Quest – Catching an Ogre

How to catch a scheming Ogre.

1.    Promise him the sun, moon and stars

2.     Don’t give him a straight answer just imply you will do everything he requests.

3.      Never mention money,

4.       Always smile and sympathise – even if you think he is the world’s best twat.

5.        Minions  (mine is called Ellie) come in handy for not only carrying out soon to be forgotten promises but also for taking the blame.

ellie and bob 007

Flash Fiction: The Hungry Polka

“I don’t know! Don‘t look at me like that. I just don‘t know, alright?”

The words hung in the air between teeth clenching mother and bored looking daughter. They turned and stared at the fabric.

Reining in her frustrations Gabby reminded herself she should be patient with her teenage daughter. “Well do you like it or not?” Gabby asked gently.

Chewing gum smacked about in her mouth as Ann considered her answer. She was tired of this hunt for the perfect fabric for the perfect dress and all for the perfect day.

The perfect day – her mum’s wedding. Ann tried not to think of it. She would prefer to run, from the house, from their perfectly planned lives and most of all, at this moment from this flaming tweedie shop.

With a shrug Ann said,  “Yes, sort of.” Silently she thought, it looks like the type of fabric that would drive a person dotty. The words made her smile and she repeated them in her head.

Gabby ignored the nit picking irritation created by the “sort of.” Instead she concentrated on the positive, the only positive word spoken by her daughter today.

They floated home on a cloud of relief via the number nineteen bus. Once inside their front door, they parted company.

Ann to her room. Gabby to the kitchen where she filled the kettle. Tea was needed immediately to help her recover. The fabric lay on the counter.

It was spotted by Martin. “Nice dots!” he commented.

Gabby grimaced remembering the work it took to overcome her daughters objections.

Martin  rubbed his hand across the fabric. “Reminds me of a haunting Polka tune I learnt at school.  He left the room whistling.

Gabby draped the fabric over the banisters that evening. Gabby insisted, inspiration for the cut, shape etc would happen if she kept it there.  Martin was continually whistling that tune. She found it irritating. He said it was comforting.

She woke at three in the morning. The room felt chilly. She got up to investigate.

The light on the landing drew her out of her room. She could hear the trace of dance music rising to meet her. She crept down the stairs. Curiosity forced her on, even as she saw the dark shadow on the stairs. Her heart pummeled in her chest, her ears were filled with the loud swoosh as anxiety raised her blood pressure.

Martin stood clutching  the fabric as he muttered softly to himself. The music played on. Gabby wondered where it was coming from. She looked at Martin, in fact she couldn’t take her eyes from him. His eyes were alight but his face was pale as he said over and over again…”Polka dot. Dot. Dot. Polka dot.”

The doctors insisted it was a stress related breakdown. Gabby didn’t know what to think or believe. Martin was no longer her Martin. He was a shadow of his former self, all he did was hum that blasted tune day in and day out. If he wasn’t humming he was singing about dots.

Ann offered her opinion. “Pre-wedding jitters and stress has turned his brain to mush!” With a pop of her gum she left the room.

Bob’s Diary: Valentines Day and my dream has come true!

Rain stopped for a while so I resumed the hunt for the stupid Ogre and his crock of fairy cakes.

the hunt continues

I kept thinking today is the day..



stumble on basket

My wee collie friend with the nose struck gold

I needed a rest

exhausted but happy

But before we left with our trophies to enjoy at home, I couldn’t resist it ….just a taste

bob in wood final

It’s a great Valentines Day – giant cupcakes with icing on top!

cupcakes and bob

Except for the fact I had to give her one

ellie and hat

She threatened to eat Maria’s hat…and I’m not that mean.

Bob’s Diary: The hunt for Mudpile Wood

The thing is: I love cakes. So, I persuaded Ellie who loves to find stuff to help me find Mudpile wood.  (It didn’t take much persuasion, just a tennis ball.)

pic one in wood

I kept telling the dumb dog we were looking for a particular tree, but she kept doing laps of the wood.


Eventually I had to tell her: Stop! Listen there are cakes under this tree!

ellie in wood

That changed everything – the search became a blur.

bob in wood running

Until: Yay!


We found it!

Now I just have to wait for that Ogre Breeze and his fairy friend who makes delicious cakes to show up!

They will never spot me, can you?

bob in hiding behind tree