Rolling Days and the search has started

In some ways, it seems like Dad and Bob only left us yesterday, in spite of this when it returns the pain at their loss can be intense at odd moments. But I know, am aware this is part of the process we call living. The bit I find the most distressing in all of this is how Ellie has reacted. Around our house she sometimes seems lost, wandering to odd corners where Bob used to go to, the strawberry patch being one and then coming back to join me. Her sighs and sad looks have affected everyone. At dad’s house, she no longer races to his back door eager to be let in and given her welcoming pet from him.

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To offset her feeling of loss, I take her with me whenever I can or I invite other dogs to come and spend an hour or two in her company, but I cannot always be with her.

So, after almost 20 weeks with just Ellie, we cannot bear it any longer and have decided to find her a buddy. We can’t replace Bob but we can find an acceptable friend to fill some gaps.

We have discovered that adopting a dog is not easy. For one thing, our garden was inspected. We failed the first inspection. Though, we did explain to the gentleman that if Ellie chose a large dog the short section (4-foot long) of the wall which is only 5 foot six inches tall, (the rest being an impressive 6 foot high) would be raised to the 6-foot height needed. Our thinking on this is: the garden is secure, locked gates and if Ellie decides a Jack Russell is to be her new living companion then why raise the wall? But they were not happy with this answer.

Then you have The Form to fill in, some of the questions are so detailed and personal I expected to be asked how often I shower. However, we dutifully have filled in forms sent off photos of our garden.

In the past week, we have visited 3 rescue centres. They are all spotlessly clean. The dogs look well-fed but the problem is they are either not interested in us or they are female dogs and our main stipulation is that it is a male dog.

The question for you kind readers (all four or five of you) is, have you gone through a similar experience? Are we better off to merely concentrate on keeping Ellie healthy and happy or should we continue our quest?

I will keep everyone posted on Twitter and Instagram #FindEllieAFriend

12 thoughts on “Rolling Days and the search has started

  1. It is much simpler to adopt a dog in the US. No one comes to inspect anything.
    That said, we did adopt a dog for our Bailey. He spent a lot of time wandering around the house, moaning. Adopting another dog was a positive move for him and seemed to drop years from him, emotionally. We were happy to have done this.

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  2. I’m a director/founder of a small rescue, and I previously started one that became very much bigger (and is still going strong, under more energetic management) and I can assure you we put potential adopters through quite a process. And we’re in Washington State, USA – so no, it’s not always “much simpler to adopt a dog in the US”. Some of us really care about where the critters in our care end up, and we want to make sure they’ll be safe and loved.

    That said, I can’t believe you won’t be accepted. Some groups are very rigid in their rules, and I don’t like that because people don’t fit neatly into categories – some dogs need a high fence, others don’t, for example; I rely heavily on thorough interviews with references, vets and, of course, the adopters themselves, to ensure that it’s a good match.

    All that said, I’d encourage you to persevere. When you find a companion whose energy level and temperament are a good fit for Ellie, it will be a huge comfort for her. And although no dog can replace Bob, there’s a dog out there who desperately needs exactly what you can offer, and he will dig a himself-shaped hole in your hearts just as Bob and Ellie have done. Just give it time.

    Also, maybe consider offering to foster for these groups, on the understanding that when the right dog comes along, he’ll get to stay. I’ve often had people tell me, “Oh, but I couldn’t bear to give up a dog once it came into my home!” But really, that’s nonsense, you know. Dogs need a place to be, but not every place is perfect for the dog. If you can work with a rescue that you know is careful in its placements, then when the dog that isn’t quite perfect for you moves on, you can let it go and feel good about having helped it along its way. Yes, it will hurt, but so what? That’s the price of being a caring human! And then when the right dog DOES come, you won’t be relying on Ellie, or yourselves, to make an instant connection. You’ll be able to give the relationship time to develop before you decide.

    Sorry for the long essay … I’m a little passionate on this subject, as I guess you can tell!

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    • No problem regarding essay. Yes we understand how careful centers have to be but when we are being refused a dog because our double coated Bob loved sleeping in his kennel in the yard, as does Ellie I have to consider that we might never be allowed adopt a dog. All dogs have to sleep within the house, I am told. They don’t seem to consider the fact I love doing stuff with the dogs a plus, or the fact I have taken a 1st aid course .for k9s or that Ellie has brought 14 missing back to their families, they still consider me as a not suitable owner. I will keep searching and will talk to local centers about fostering. But morr importantly I will keep learning about k9s and keep learning from them.
      Thank you for your kind words, they help a lot, take care.

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      • For what it’s worth, my rescue tends not to like it when dogs have to sleep outside because we so often see that becoming isolating for the dog. In summer the dog is very much part of family life, but in winter the humans tend to spend evenings indoors, and we don’t like to think of the dogs being shut outdoors. It’s clear to me (all the pictures!!) that your dogs are welcome indoors and are very much part of your daily life, and if you were applying to adopt from me the answer would be an enthusiastic yes. But that’s because I don’t have rigid rules; I treat the news that a dog sleeps outdoors as red flag and question in more detail, so I’m open to the possibility that it doesn’t mean a sad dog.

        Anyway, if I may make a suggestion, just put in a dog door. Then you can state that the dogs choose where they want to sleep – and those that choose to sleep outside have a very comfy kennel.

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  3. You can never replace Bob. But I imagine that if asked his wise opinion, Bob would wholeheartedly encourage you to give a wonderful home, care and love to another doggo and receive from that pup, endless devotion, loyalty and love. The rest is all details. Annoying, but necessary details.

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